An Honest Look at the ‘M’ Word (Masturbation)

Back in the ’80s an Evangelical pastor who was popular with young people spoke frankly on the topic of masturbation and tried to be balanced. Being a controversial topic, interviewers would naturally ask him about it. He responded, “Look, I’ll answer your questions to the best of my knowledge and understanding, but I don’t want to be known as the ‘masturbation pastor’; that’s not where my heart is.” I feel the same here.

Masturbation is one of those subjects that are so private, so intimate, it’s understandably awkward to openly discuss. If you can’t handle an honest examination of this very personal, adult-oriented issue, I suggest leaving and maybe coming back later.

The two extreme positions on the issue reflect the Conservative and Liberal mindsets. It’s wise to consider the evidence for both sides, along with the Middle Ground position, before drawing plausible conclusions that apply to one’s own situation. That’s what we’re going to do here.

Let’s start with the fact that…

The Bible Doesn’t Directly Mention Masturbation

Whatever answers we come up with in this study, they will be from indirect material since the topic of masturbation is not mentioned in the Holy Scriptures. In short, there’s no commandment “Thou Shalt Not Masturbate.” Sexual lust is detailed, of course, but not self-stimulation of the genitals for gratification.

For anyone who might cite Onan from Genesis 38:8-10, his offense wasn’t masturbation, but rather Onan’s refusal to fulfill his Hebraic duty in perpetuating his brother’s line of descendants (Deuteronomy 25:5-10).

The obvious question is: Why doesn’t the Creator mention masturbation in the God-breathed Scriptures (2 Timothy 3:16) — the LORD’s written Word to humanity — a topic that practically every human being has to deal with during his/her life on Earth? Perhaps because it’s not a cut-and-dried issue and, whether or not masturbation is a sin, depends on several things, which will be detailed as we progress. As such, each individual will have to work out this private issue in his/her personal relationship with their Creator with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12).

That said, I want to stress that…

A Person Is a Slave to Whatever Has Mastered Him/Her

Peter put it like this:

They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.”

2 Peter 2:19

If a person allows himself/herself to become in bondage to something that’s not necessary for survival (water, food, air, etc.) they in essence become a slave to that thing, not to mention the thing in question becomes a figurative idol. Christianity is all about true freedom, which includes freedom from the flesh and religious legalism (2 Corinthians 3:17 & Galatians 5:1), but it also supports the wisdom of moderation in all things so as not to be hindered or mastered by anything (Hebrews 12:1 & 1 Corinthians 6:12).

Anything that impedes a person’s productivity in life automatically becomes a destructive “weight” and needs to be “thrown off.” This would include the practice of masturbation. This must be understood at the outset of our study along with the fact that…

Believers Are Instructed to Control Their Bodies

This can be observed in Paul’s instruction to the Thessalonians:

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; ⁴that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, ⁵not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; ⁶and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. ⁷For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7

Verse 5 reveals that the issue comes down to knowing God or not knowing God. The spiritually-regenerated believer who walks with the Lord is expected to control his/her body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like unbelievers who aren’t walking with the Lord.

This shows that the Creator wants his children to be in a state of control over their bodies & thoughts/actions and not in bondage to anything. Yet verse 4 plainly says that believers have to “learn” to control their bodies; in other words, it’s a process — there is a progression that goes with sanctification.

Secondly, while the text is pretty straightforward, there’s also a degree of mystery: What exactly does “control your body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust” mean for each individual? Obviously the indwelling Spirit is going to have to guide & help each believer in this matter. The Spirit’s guidance will depend on the maturity level of the person, their unique situation and their calling. Such things will be elucidated as we continue.

Now let’s consider the three perspectives on masturbation and the pros or cons of each:

The Conservative View: Masturbation Is Always a Sin

This is the go-to position of most Evangelicals, which makes masturbation a black & white issue. They base it on the fact that Christ said, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28), which is bolstered by righteous Job’s attitude: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman” (Job 31:1) and similar comments made in verses 9-12.

These passages support the obvious connection between what goes on in the mind to one’s potential actions (as well as the error of objectifying a woman due to her physical beauty). And, since it’s arguably impossible to masturbate without the use of imagination, advocates of this position reason that masturbation is always a sin.

Until the individual is married, they argue, the sexual side of life can be totally shut down through walking in the spirit (Ephesians 4:22-24). Of course learning to live by the Spirit is a process and so the believer will have to “keep with repentance” when they inevitably miss it (Matthew 3:8 & 1 John 1:8-9).

Speaking of marriage, supporters of this view point to God’s original design for the two genders, male & female, to unite together in marriage and multiply (Genesis 2:18 & 1:28) — with nothing being said about masturbation in the Song of Songs, which is God’s poetic ‘manual’ on romantic love/sex/marriage.

Likewise, the New Testament says zilch about masturbation when the topic of singlehood and marriage surfaces. For instance, the apostle Paul argued, since sexual immorality abounds, “each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). While Paul stressed that being single is good, particularly in that time and place (Corinth, a city about 50 miles west of Athens, Greece), he also pointed out that marriage is the natural solution for the single person who can’t control himself/herself for “it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9). This would be the fitting place for Paul, led of the Spirit, to bring up the topic of masturbation, but he mysteriously says nada.

Is nothing said about masturbation in these key passages because it’s implied that it’s a prohibited, sinful practice, as supporters of this position would argue, or is it simply because God leaves the issue open for each individual to work out in his/her relationship with the LORD? (Philippians 2:12).

As far as releasing pent-up sexual energy goes, adherents of this view maintain that the Creator has provided a natural way for a person to release constrained sexuality; it’s called the wet dream (Deuteronomy 23:10-11). As such, masturbation is not necessary to release bottled-up sexual energy since a wet dream will naturally do it for the individual.

If you are satisfied with the arguments for this position, I encourage you to stick with it (Romans 14:14). However, if you discern some holes or unexplained details, read on. But, first, let’s consider the other side of the moral spectrum…

The Liberal View: Masturbation Is Never a Sin

A moderate Liberal argued that masturbation was God’s gift to assist people with pent-up sexual energy (presumably single people). While this sounds somewhat reasonable, the radical Liberal position goes back to the sexual revolution of the 60s and the foolish Leftie mantra: “If it feels good do it.” This is the philosophy of hedonism. Those who subscribe to hedonism are libertines.

When it comes to carnal desires, no matter how questionable, libertines typically encourage the embracing of the whim. After all, you were “born that way,” they argue, and so you are free to indulge because “it’s the way you were made.” Does this mean an adult male is free to pursue having sex with a 14 year-old girl because he experiences the desire and therefore was “born that way”? Should a woman who has the whim to eat 2 gallons of ice cream per day do so because she was “born that way”? Should a youth become a druggie/drunkard because he has the desire to be wasted? Obviously not in all three cases. And this reveals the absurdity of libertinism: Just because you experience a desire doesn’t automatically mean it’s good and you should act on it or base your life around it.

Speaking of which, Liberals tend to encourage people to base their identities around curious desires and whims. To deny a flesh urge is repression to them; and repression of desire, they reason, creates a “repressed” individual, which they consider mental illness. Personal discipline is an abomination to libertines unless it involves things like performing yoga or not using straws. Yes, I’m being amusing, but it’s pretty much the truth when it comes to Leftwingers.

It comes as no surprise, therefore, that the Liberal view on masturbation is that it’s natural & healthy and can be practiced as often as the individual wishes, regardless of whether he/she is single or married. “If it feels good, do it!”

Since modern-day Liberalism is equal to what the Bible calls “the world” (1 John 2:15-17) — and explains why I refer to it as LIEberalism — this viewpoint can be dismissed out of hand in this discussion. Remember, these are the folks who say with a straight face that there are 152 genders (or whatever the tally is these days) and that a man can become a woman by simply identifying as a female or, worse, having his penis surgically removed and being pumped with female hormones; either way, he can then legitimately compete in female competitions and be praised for winning (rolling my eyes).

The Middle Ground: Masturbation May or May Not Be a Sin, Depending on the Individual and Details Thereof

This view argues that, since masturbation is not mentioned in the Bible and there is no direct prohibition against it, whether or not it is permissible in a person’s life depends on his/her unique position, their level of spiritual maturity and the leading of the Spirit. Let’s look at each of these:

The person’s unique position: God doesn’t make people ‘cookie-cutter’; we’re all unique. What may be an issue for one person is not an issue whatsoever for another. For instance, Paul spoke of his gift of continence to which he acknowledged many others don’t have, yet they have other gifts (1 Corinthians 7:7). Some single men have exceptionally high sex drives and the occasional ‘wet dream’ arguably isn’t going to cut it for them. As for Paul’s argument that “it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9), while this may be true, it would be extremely foolish to marry someone solely on the grounds of sexual gratification since it’s a huge commitment and life-altering matter.
The person’s level of spiritual maturity: There’s a world of difference between, say, a new believer at 20 years of age and a seasoned man or woman of God of 55. There are stages to spiritual growth, not to mention keys to spiritual growth, and so everyone isn’t at the same place.
Conscience and the leading of the Spirit in the individual’s life: Since masturbation isn’t mentioned in the Scriptures and there is no direct prohibition against it, the believer is going to have to go by the leading of the Spirit within and the conviction thereof (1 John 3:19-24). In other words, if your conscience & indwelling Spirit convict you of something, then don’t do it. If there is no conviction — at least currently — then you can be certain that “to the pure all things are pure” (Titus 1:15). However, when the Spirit guides you to remove something from your life, you are obligated to do so since “you are not your own, you were bought at a price” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

It goes without saying that we have to be careful with the verse that says “to the pure all things are pure.” This shouldn’t be mistaken to mean that a sin can ever be pure, like adultery. We also have to be careful of the self-deception of being “pure in our own eyes” (Proverbs 16:2 & Proverbs 30:12).

While the Middle Ground position respects the Conservative view and admits that believers should stick with that position if they’re convinced of it, à la Romans 14:14, it objects to its black & white simplicity. For instance, both Matthew 5:28 and Job 3:1 are talking about committing adultery within one’s heart. But what if a married man is away from home for a long period of time and releases his sexual energy by masturbating to thoughts of his wife? By doing this, he reasons, he’ll be less prone to amorous temptations on the road. Obviously this wouldn’t be adultery and the masturbation would arguably be permissible.

For those who understandably contend that the same principle would apply to the sin of fornication, what if the ‘woman’ in question is a drawing or image. To explain, in concentration camps, like Soviet gulags, artists would draw an alluring sketch of a woman and barter it to other captives. How exactly can a man commit fornication with a ‘woman’ that doesn’t exist? In other words, if what the person is imagining when he/she masturbates involves an unreal figure, how exactly is it a sin, unless of course the Spirit leads that person to not do it or stop the practice?

What if a single man with an exceptional sex drive expunges his sexual energy in this manner on the grounds that it will assist in evading amorous temptations, including the allure of porn, which is always just a click away in the modern day? In other words, to him, it basically removes that challenge from the table and frees him up for spiritual things. I’m not necessarily agreeing with this position, just sharing what guys have said who deal with this real-life issue.

On top of all this is the glaring question: When does merely appreciating beauty end and sinister lust begin?

These kinds of questions are naturally troubling to those who see everything in black & white, which is what some STAGE TWO believers tend to do. This is said with zero condescension; it’s simply a reflection of the way it is with spiritual growth and non-growth. Yet we’re talking real-life issues and struggles here, which demand frankness and tackling the hard questions.

In any case, the Middle Ground position acknowledges that masturbation is something that the Lord will eventually weed out of a person’s life as he/she grows, à la Colossians 3:5 and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7, but this is going to be accomplished by the Spirit’s leading and not some legalistic religious rule that’s not actually cited in the Bible. It’s the aforementioned process of sanctification.

Remember, the Bible emphasizes God’s compassion, which means sympathetic understanding of our plight in this fallen world (Psalm 145:9 & Hebrews 4:15). In short, anyone struggling with the things we’re talking about here, the Lord understands — the Lord cares. God’s not some ogre in the sky waiting to smash people with a cosmic baseball bat; the Lord’s full of love, mercy and compassion for his children (Psalm 86:15, 103:8 & 103:13), which is not to say that that there isn’t a time for divine discipline (Hebrews 12:5-7). God is for you, not against you (Romans 8:31). It’s of the utmost importance to your spiritual health that you get a hold of this!

A young minister strongly advocated the Conservative position in an honest article, arguing that masturbation is indeed a sin, yet the reason for his rigid stance was revealed in his testimony: He became captive to the practice in his teens and desperately wanted freedom. Upon turning to the Lord he acquired emancipation, but the experience unsurprisingly left him viewing masturbation as a great sin and his personal #1 flesh-enemy. Yet this doesn’t necessarily make masturbation a sin any more than it makes playing computer games a sin because an individual is in bondage to the activity. What about the gazillions of people who play computer games, but they do so in moderation and there’s zero bondage?

The same goes for the severe alcoholic who turns to the Lord and escapes the bondage of drunkard-ness. Just because drinking alcohol is a sin to this person, it doesn’t mean another person who isn’t an alcoholic can’t drink a sip of alcohol, assuming s/he is in an environment that’s not going to make someone stumble (Romans 14:13-23). Are you following?

One pastor I served under adamantly taught from the pulpit that merely shopping at a store that sells alcoholic beverages is a sin. Why? Not because the Bible says it’s a sin, obviously, but rather because he was a serious alcoholic before giving his life to the Lord and this caused him to unjustly condemn anything involving alcoholic beverages, even if it wasn’t immoral from a biblical standpoint. (While this is wrong and grossly legalistic, the Holy Spirit might of course lead a specific believer to not shop at a certain establishment for one reason or another).

Speaking of alcoholic beverages, supporters of the Middle Ground position believe masturbation could be equated to the topic of alcohol in the Bible. While being a drunkard is indeed a sin (Galatians 5:19-21), drinking in moderation is not (Matthew 11:19 & 1 Timothy 5:23) — assuming a believer even chooses to drink an alcoholic beverage in the first place (some could care less about alcohol, like me). As long as it doesn’t compel anyone who struggles with alcoholism to fall or troubles someone with a weak conscience, it’s allowable. In short, just as drinking alcohol can become a bondage and therefore detrimental to someone’s life, so can masturbation, yet neither are evil in-and-of-themselves (Romans 14:14). The details of the person, their situation and the leading of the Spirit will determine if either is permissible or destructive at the time.

Closing Word

I was reluctant to do this article because the topic is controversial and any minister who doesn’t staunchly support the Conservative position is readily written off as “going Liberal” (at least in Evangelical circles). But that’s hardly the case here. In any event, there’s pressure for ministers to tout the Evangelical convention on this topic — the Conservative position — or just keep mum on the subject.

Since masturbation is not directly mentioned in Scripture — and God obviously did this intentionally — it comes down to a matter between the individual believer and their Creator. It’s one of those “disputable” issues that should be kept between the person and their LORD (Romans 14:22) as they weigh the applicable verses of Scripture, their conscience and the guidance of the Spirit. In short, it’s a private matter.

Someone mocked the idea of God — the Creator of all things — caring about what a guy does with his pee-pee, which is an understandable point, but the Lord does care since we were bought at great price:

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. ¹⁹Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

We are not our own; the LORD purchased us through the precious blood of Christ and we’re to offer our bodies as living sacrifices (1 Peter 1:18-19 & Romans 12:1). As far as our thoughts go, the Bible acknowledges that thoughts run our lives and thus God is very interested in what goes on in our minds (Psalm 24:3-5, Proverbs 15:26, Matthew 5:8, Colossians 3:2 & Philippians 4:8). For one, our thought life determines our actions, one way or another.

Personally, I don’t masturbate. The Holy Spirit pruned it from me long ago as part of my particular process of sanctification. That’s my example. How, when, and why the Lord deals with other people on the issue is between them and their Creator. I don’t care to know the details because it’s a TMI matter of the first order. This doesn’t mean, of course, that they can’t talk to a spiritual mentor about it if they feel the need to do so, just be sure that he/she is actually spiritual and not a gossip (Matthew 7:15-23). (For instance, I’ve come across ministers who regularly counsel others and have been known to share details of their counselee by name behind their backs, typically with other ministers; it goes without saying that this is outrageously wrong, but it unfortunately happens).

The reason I decided to cover this topic is because the journey in finding answers from God’s Word brings up many issues relevant to one’s walk with the LORD in this fallen world, such as spiritual development, self-control, thought life, appreciating beauty vs. lust, walking in the spirit, knowing God, Christianity vs. legalism, libertinism, disputable issues and so on.

Our conclusion is that the Liberal view should be dismissed outright because it embraces the folly of libertinism. The Conservative view should be respected and works for many believers while the Middle Ground perspective honestly explores the holes in that view and dares to tackle the ignored details. So the truth lies somewhere between the Conservative position and the Middle Ground position. Being a decidedly private matter, it’s up to each believer to work it out with their Maker on their spiritual journey with fear and trembling.

Amen.