How Do You Effectively Respond to Malicious GOSSIP?

Now & then you’ll come across a person who’s addicted to gossip & slander. Such people are toxic faultfinders who naturally try to draw you into their “choice morsels” of corrupt talk (Proverbs 18:8 & 26:22).

For anyone who thinks gossip & slander are harmless and, besides, “everyone does it,” here are a handful of verses from both the Old Testament and New Testament that tell otherwise:

…whoever spreads slander is a fool. –Proverbs 10:18
With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor… – Proverbs 11:9
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. [i.e. stirs up strife & division] – Proverbs 16:28
Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. – James 4:11
Don’t grumble against one another… or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! – James 5:9

Since gossip always devolves into slander as it spreads, it’s a form of false testimony, which is outrightly condemned by the LORD (Exodus 20:16; Matthew 15:19). Even if what someone says about a person behind their back is based on a truth, those who gossip characteristically put a negative spin on it, so it becomes a lie. Keep in mind that the word ‘devil’ (diabolos) literally means “accuser” or “slanderer” (Revelation 12:10). As such, those who regularly engage in gossip & slander are acting like the devil!

This explains why impenitent badmouthing of people not present will draw divine judgment, as observed in James 5:9 (quoted above). How much more so if the slander concerns those in Christian servant-leadership, aka fivefold ministers? See Psalm 105:15.

As a man or woman of God, I’m encouraging you to not allow gossip to go unchallenged. What’s the wisest way to respond? Here are seven ways you can counteract this type of ungodly activity and hopefully move the gossiper to penitence:

Say nothing, which leads to the gossiper eventually stopping since there’s no fuel for the slander (Proverbs 26:20).
Immediately start praying for the person being badmouthed, to which the gossiper will be compelled to pray with you and agree.
Bless the person being cursed.
Say something good about the victim.
Offer to call the victim on your smart phone so that the slanderer can speak to him/her directly. If you do this, consider putting your phone on speaker so everyone present can hear the conversation.
Correct the gossiper through quoting a key Scripture, like the ones noted above.
Simply walk away from the conversation, which will speak volumes.

The last time I encountered a heinous gossiper I implemented #2: The man started badmouthing someone not present — a beloved believer — so I started praying for her on the spot, to which he stopped maligning and joined-in with the prayer. This morphed his toxic words into a productive communication by getting God involved.

One of the favorite bits of slander of a person I know, a confessing believer, is to unjustly say a man is ‘gay.’ He did this regarding the waiter the last time I went out to eat with him (even though there was zero indication the man was ‘gay’). Why does he do this? Obviously, he considers the person in question a rival and so he instinctively puts him down in order to elevate himself, which shows that it’s an issue of arrogance. This isn’t good since “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18) and God actively “opposes the proud” (James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5).

As men and women of God, we have to stop allowing this type of carnal behavior or we become accessories in the evil speech. I realize it’s difficult to walk in tough love with someone who’s a relative or a fellow congregant or you’re a guest at their home or they’re feeding you, but we’re obligated to put a stop to malicious gossip.

Take David, for example. He was “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22) who said this about gossips & slanderers in his social sphere: